So, i'm looking up the ifs and the hows of popping popcorn with coconut oil (what? i'm trying not to buy butter so much) and while the majority of the information i found was informative and even exultative, somewhere along the way i stumbled upon this gem of a paragraph on the "about" page of amishcountrypopcorn.com:
When Brian was nine years old he came to realize that he was a sinner in the eyes of God, deserving Hell; but that Jesus Christ came to die for his sins, would forgive him, and save him. All he had to do was by faith repent of his sins and trust Christ to be his Savior. If you have any questions about going to heaven, serving God or popcorn...
...seriously? When you were nine, Brian? Was that around the same time that you started referring to yourself the same way that Bob Dole does? Interesting. And what's the deal with that sentence that trails off there, at the end? Should we contact you for some sage wisdom? Or are you implying that we're already screwed because we don't know the answers yet? Please advise.
Further:
The people who know Brian would tell you that he is known for the following two things: serving the Lord and selling popcorn. His main goal in life is telling people everywhere how to be saved.
Holy hell. Sorry, but i guess i'd rather get my "Lady Finger Popcorn" and "Buttery Topping" (thanks for not including an ingredient list on that, btw) from someone whose main goal in life was, well, producing quality popcorn products, not proselytizing. Sorry, chappie! i'm sure you're a nice fella, though, and surely Heaven-bound, which is all that matters, really, in the end.
Whew! Were you wondering whether there was any possible subject on this earth safe from my acerbic and inexhaustive negativity? Really, you should know better.
Saturday, June 20
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2 comments:
So this is how we pop popcorn here on our little farm in the Midwest. I have found Canola oil will give popcorn a buttery flavor, just regualr Canola oil.
I put 3 TB. in a heavy pan along with 1/2 cup WHITE popcorn on high heat. (We like white better than yellow) Cover with lid unless you can catch quick and like burning hot oils kernals on your skin. Shake vigorously. Popcorn is a staple in our house. We eat it 5 out of 7 nights a week. Give it a try. Better than butter for your arteries... Amish ways, hmmmm, they were quite radical actually still are. We are just an hour from an amish community. I had the pleasure of serving supper to a family of Amish men ages 16-30's? We sold a silo to a family. They came and took it apart brick by brick. It took a long time so I fixed supper. 1. I had to beg them to come in and sit at the table to eat. 2. I had to pick the jaw of the 16 yr. old up off the floor when he saw our tv running. 52"LCD flat screen. A movie was playing. 3.They would not touch any food that was in a bottle or package, only on plates, I had put meat, cheese and bread on plates for sandwiches. Wouldn't touch the pickles in the jar or ketchup, mustard,etc. and the first question they asked me when we sat to eat was what church was I affiliated with? It actually was quite the experience. I wouldn't be accepted in their culture because I appreciate the modern conveniences and would be using them and besides I am too big of a sinner for their culture. Great to chat,,,,
You know, you can ask anyone: i'm deeply fascinated by Amish culture. Seriously, i can't seem to hear enough about it... it was more the "inherent sin" part that bothered me there, over and above the religiosity itself. i think that believing you are a "sinner" and have to atone for something you never did is a waste of everyone's time. Just be kind, is all.
But enough about that: i loved hearing about your encounter with the Amish! It was certainly kind of you to offer them dinner, at any rate :) And i'm not surprised about the teen's reaction to the big television: i might have reacted the same way! ;) But i *am* a bit puzzled as to their reaction to the food items that were jarred/canned... i guess i assumed that this would be a common practice in such a natural, waste-not-want-not, land and farming-oriented community such as the Amish! Huh, who knew.
And thanks for the popcorn advice! i have a giant pot, and the coconut oil, now for the heat ;)
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