absurd ablutions.

So last night i did something i rarely do: i took a bath.

Working so many days in a row combined with my bike being in the shop has lead to some sort of ferocious charley horse in my right calf. i was hoping the hot water would relax whatever kink was all worked up in there.

i had a small candle handy, so i thought i'd light it, bathside. You know, for extra 'relaxation'? (okay, i am making myself want to puke at this point. just bear with me.) It was a bright red deal: "Holiday Apple Spice", given to me by my best friend over x-mas. Problem was, the wick was too short. Flame wouldn't do much more than sputter out a tiny, feeble blue glow, so i decided to pour some of the wax off.

Now, does anyone remember doing this when they were kids? You take a candle, pour the hot wax into a basin of water (or the tub, or the sink, or a cup), and whatever shape the wax makes, that's what your profession is going to be? (example: broom = janitor.) This is how we did it; i'm sure there are other variations.

So, there i was in a tub full of water. i went ahead and poured a little wax right on in.

Now, you might not know this, but: bright red candle wax does not look exactly. . . pleasant in your bathwater. i found myself alarmed at the drips and drops now swirling around me. And the flame was still not high enough, so i threw caution to the wind and dumped it all in.

What shape did it make, you might ask? (Others would ask, "what shape did you see?")

A fetus.

That's right, there i was in the bath, trying to relax and soothe away my achin' muscles, and what should i have sharing the water with me but a tiny, blood-red fetus, umbilical cord and all.

Huzzah.