workin' woman's woes.

Just FYI: Walking up to me at work and saying "Yeah, i need some flowers." after i ask if i can help you is NOT amusing. Nor is it clever, original, or helpful in any way. Seriously. And when i ask for the TINIEST bit of input, please don't interrupt me and say, "i dunno, that's your job. You're the expert."

Seriously. Seriously?

I'm the expert at what your girlfriend/mother/best friend likes? Wow, i had no idea. How thrilling.

Uh-uh. No. This is not how it's going down.
It can then take quite awhile to extract any minute fragment of information, such as:

a) the occasion
b) if there is any flower or color the recipient particularly adores/abhors
c) should we go tall or short?
d) should this be a one-sided arrangement (i.e., the vase is against a wall)?

i could go on, but basically: just help me out a little here. Yes, i know that it is my job to make you an arrangement, but every little bit helps. It would be like me walking into a grocery store and saying to the first employee i see, "yeah, can you just, like..... pick me out some stuff? i wanna have dinner with my boyfriend tonight, so i need some food. I'm sorry, what's that? What do we like? Oh, i don't know- you're the one who works here; isn't food like, your area of expertise?"

Yeah. See how ridiculous that is? i cannot tell you how many times a person will say, "Just make me something; whatever you want" and then 5 or ten minutes later they are coming over and hemming and hawing about something i have put in (or left out). i'm not a mind reader here, folks. Just throw me a bone.

And for the record? Putting an iris next to a stargazer with a piece of solid aster thrown in "to brighten it up" is like pairing SpaghettiOs with sliced banana, served with a glass of (sour) grapefruit juice. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK. Trust me. Trust me on this.

We're done, you may go. Think about what i've said.