An Open Letter to Serious Dimwits.

Dear fuckwits drinking beer and blasting music by the pool (because it's Memorial Day Just Another 'Legitimate' Day For You To PARTY DOWN, woooooo!),

i have zero sympathy for the fact that the police were called and came by to kick your asses out. When you treat the security guard like shit (4 times!) and refuse to tell him which apartment you live in (and yet adamantly maintain that you are doing nothing "wrong"), there will be consequences. Sorry your super-sweet pool party got shut down. Sorry that some of us who live hear don't actually enjoy listening to your favorite talentless Top 40 'musicians' filling the air with tonal diarrhea while you sing warble backup and drop beer bottles every five minutes.

p.s.) omg, it like so totally was funny when the puppy like totally jumped in the pool after you!! Especially cuz, like, there are no animals allowed here! omg.