Just call me Heather Teavee.

So there are these ads all over the place on TV now, with dire warnings about how you may lose your signal in February 2009, when the Powers That Be all make the switch to digital. They take the issue very seriously, which is extremely comical to me.

Our TV is pretty big, actually, but it is also really dang old, from the early '90s. Okay, i guess that's not actually all that old. But it is showing some wear and tear: There is a melted ring in the black plastic on the top of the thing, from where an old roommate set something hot down. An inch-wide column on the right-hand side of the screen badly skews everything that passes through it (this could be my fault, from keeping it so near my old stereo speakers years ago), and the power button broke off a long time ago. We of course lost the remote within the first few years of owning it, so when the power button broke off, many years later when it lived with me in my first apartment, my roommate and i actually used to turn it on and off with a stick of incense, the wooden end of which was poked through a tiny hole to achieve this feat. I guess we wanted it badly enough to do that. Finally, a thoughtful visitor informed us of the miracle that is the Universal Remote. Woo-hoo! Now we're cookin' with double AA batteries.
I got the TV from my mom, when i moved out of the house at 18 (19?). It was the only one we had, but my mom was so pissed at my brother for doing nothing all day but cut school to watch it and play video games on it, that she agreed to trade me for it. On my end, i had to sacrifice my orchid pictures. We had recently been to Hawaii, where i had had the privilege of visiting a spectacular orchid-growers' greenhouse. I don't think i've ever taken such beautiful pictures, to this day, and i was still a very new photographer back then... I think the subjects really did all the work for me. They were great photos, at any rate. Wonder what happened to them?

Where was i going with all of this? Ah, yes. My TV has served me well, through mid-afternoon nature shows, Saturday morning cartoons, late-night awful TV movies on the couch with Nat (Money To Burn is a memorable one of these), and more serial shows that sucked me in than i care to mention. Yes, TV is evil. Yes, i used to watch it too much. Sometimes i still do. It is comforting to me, almost like a friend. But is this Digital Switch/Death To Analog dealio something i should just embrace? Is this the "out" i've been waiting for? Is this the end of mind-numbing programming, insulting advertisements, and awful volume equalization (here's looking at you, loud-ass commercials)?

Could i really become free?

Upon viewing one network's upcoming summer line-up, i actually went slack-jawed. Dreck. Pure dreck. Certainly would be empowering never to have to witness one of those, or be able to talk about it in a conversation.
At first i was somewhat miffed that this switch was beyond people's control. But somewhat to my amazement, i only really thought about getting a digital TV in a very ethereal, round-the-edges sort of way. For someone who watches as much TV as i do (yeah, i'm not proud of it), you would think it would be an agonizing concern that i might lose transmission. Instead, i find myself smiling at the thought of getting rid of old Telly out there in the living room, and being able to do other, much more worthwhile things with my time. I was just never motivated enough before. Now i practically have someone making the decision for me. And that means i would never again have to watch another slutty Carl's Jr. commercial, or listen to Huell Howser talking, or watch the commercial where the family can barely stand to go camping (you know, what with the mosquitoes and all- ick!) for more than 5 seconds, and the patriarch has to subdue his angry brood with king-sized beds at a motel for the kids and a fucking spa treatment for his wife. People aren't really like that, right?
....Right?
Maybe if i didn't regularly get angry and/or insulted while watching TV it would all be worth it. Unfortunately, based on what i know about marketing executives and "focus groups", that will just never happen.

So yeah- here it is: i give. i give in. That's it. I'm not shopping for a new TV, i'm not getting a converter box, and i'm not hanging on to my old TV just in case something makes it through the airwaves. What a relief!

As Nat points out, we'll lose nature shows. This is about the only thing i'm actually sad about, losing PBS. Pretty good programs, there, for the most part. i guess Nova will just have to blow someone else's mind for awhile.