To instill a sense of physical reality into your wandering soul, cut open a lemon and, using your hands, rub the juice smartly into a good-sized handful of dry fettuccine. Hold this powerful talisman under your nose. Close your eyes, and inhale deeply while feeling the undeniable power (and magical combination of smoothness+grit) of the pasta beneath your fingers.
...okay, that's all i've come up with so far, but it was quite a moment. Now go, go and make pesto*.
*although, don't make the pesto if it is midnight and you've had an hours-long, fairly serious fight with your sweetheart, leaving you both psychologically unsettled, causing you to put in way way way way way way WAY too much garlic, so much that it hurts to eat it, delicious though it may be. Because then you will have some seriously unpleasant dreams and wake up with Flaming Garlic Esophagus. Not fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news: i recently discovered the adorable comics of Lucy Knisley. Apparently Lynda Barry was her graduate advisor while she was working on her thesis, which does not surprise me, given her colorful, whimsical style and keen insight into all things Childhood... like Flintstones Vitamins! Enjoy.
(and here's one just for my mom and bro, although i'm sure many other cat-lovers will understand, too...)
Saturday, June 20
lord, save us (from ourselves).
So, i'm looking up the ifs and the hows of popping popcorn with coconut oil (what? i'm trying not to buy butter so much) and while the majority of the information i found was informative and even exultative, somewhere along the way i stumbled upon this gem of a paragraph on the "about" page of amishcountrypopcorn.com:
When Brian was nine years old he came to realize that he was a sinner in the eyes of God, deserving Hell; but that Jesus Christ came to die for his sins, would forgive him, and save him. All he had to do was by faith repent of his sins and trust Christ to be his Savior. If you have any questions about going to heaven, serving God or popcorn...
...seriously? When you were nine, Brian? Was that around the same time that you started referring to yourself the same way that Bob Dole does? Interesting. And what's the deal with that sentence that trails off there, at the end? Should we contact you for some sage wisdom? Or are you implying that we're already screwed because we don't know the answers yet? Please advise.
Further:
The people who know Brian would tell you that he is known for the following two things: serving the Lord and selling popcorn. His main goal in life is telling people everywhere how to be saved.
Holy hell. Sorry, but i guess i'd rather get my "Lady Finger Popcorn" and "Buttery Topping" (thanks for not including an ingredient list on that, btw) from someone whose main goal in life was, well, producing quality popcorn products, not proselytizing. Sorry, chappie! i'm sure you're a nice fella, though, and surely Heaven-bound, which is all that matters, really, in the end.
Whew! Were you wondering whether there was any possible subject on this earth safe from my acerbic and inexhaustive negativity? Really, you should know better.
When Brian was nine years old he came to realize that he was a sinner in the eyes of God, deserving Hell; but that Jesus Christ came to die for his sins, would forgive him, and save him. All he had to do was by faith repent of his sins and trust Christ to be his Savior. If you have any questions about going to heaven, serving God or popcorn...
...seriously? When you were nine, Brian? Was that around the same time that you started referring to yourself the same way that Bob Dole does? Interesting. And what's the deal with that sentence that trails off there, at the end? Should we contact you for some sage wisdom? Or are you implying that we're already screwed because we don't know the answers yet? Please advise.
Further:
The people who know Brian would tell you that he is known for the following two things: serving the Lord and selling popcorn. His main goal in life is telling people everywhere how to be saved.
Holy hell. Sorry, but i guess i'd rather get my "Lady Finger Popcorn" and "Buttery Topping" (thanks for not including an ingredient list on that, btw) from someone whose main goal in life was, well, producing quality popcorn products, not proselytizing. Sorry, chappie! i'm sure you're a nice fella, though, and surely Heaven-bound, which is all that matters, really, in the end.
Whew! Were you wondering whether there was any possible subject on this earth safe from my acerbic and inexhaustive negativity? Really, you should know better.
Wednesday, June 17
tidbits
The other day at work, i heard a bicycle bell ringing merrily away. Usually when this happens, i can expect to look up and see Nat, because he knows that i hate his bike bell (whose sound is of the piercing, insistent dingdingding! variety) and thinks that it is hilarious to ride up and hail me with it.
However, i noted a distinct brrrriinging noise that was inconsistent with Nat's bell, and when i looked up i saw that it was a short, stocky man riding a penny-farthing down Garnet Avenue. A passerby and i watched in awe as the guy tooled on down the road into the sunset. His remark? "Well! You don't see that every day."
No. You certainly don't.
And today on the bus, heading up to the UCSD philosophy department softball game (profs won, boooo!!), Nat and i witnessed a middle-aged woman with a head of silver curls wearing a floor-length purple velvet cape. it was very mysterious, indeed. But not a costume– i could tell. Reminded me a bit of my grandma, who also used to own a cape. i hope to grow up into this fashion as well. Completely fantastic!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news: i've finally received that book i won from Goodreads, but i can't for the life of me seem to devote any particular moment to crack it open. Feels like a bit too much pressure, since it is strongly encouraged that i read and then review it. Never been good at reviews, really. i tend to get too personal. In any case, typing these past few sentences has inspired me to pick it up. Let the criticizing begin!
However, i noted a distinct brrrriinging noise that was inconsistent with Nat's bell, and when i looked up i saw that it was a short, stocky man riding a penny-farthing down Garnet Avenue. A passerby and i watched in awe as the guy tooled on down the road into the sunset. His remark? "Well! You don't see that every day."
No. You certainly don't.
And today on the bus, heading up to the UCSD philosophy department softball game (profs won, boooo!!), Nat and i witnessed a middle-aged woman with a head of silver curls wearing a floor-length purple velvet cape. it was very mysterious, indeed. But not a costume– i could tell. Reminded me a bit of my grandma, who also used to own a cape. i hope to grow up into this fashion as well. Completely fantastic!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news: i've finally received that book i won from Goodreads, but i can't for the life of me seem to devote any particular moment to crack it open. Feels like a bit too much pressure, since it is strongly encouraged that i read and then review it. Never been good at reviews, really. i tend to get too personal. In any case, typing these past few sentences has inspired me to pick it up. Let the criticizing begin!
Sunday, June 14
"colorful".
Okay, i survived. But just barely.
Item: i was still taping the groom's boutonniere (in my sweatpants) when the car arrived to pick up the flower arrangements, roughly 20 minutes before the wedding was scheduled to begin. This may have been the worst part, because i was fussing over everything too much, with time against me, and my fingers were literally cramping and had to be manually moved into their natural positions more than a couple of times.
Item: at the last minute on Friday, i had a friend pick up some dahlias and freesia for me, both of which i ended up having to toss because they were total garbage.
Item: the "Circus" roses that i purchased on Tuesday were almost completely dead by Friday night. This was just poor judgment on my part. i should have known that they were no good when i picked them out. Nevertheless, it added to the panic. i had to use them anyway, which made me sad. This wedding party deserved better.
Item: After setting up the arrangements on the tables outside, the wind began to pick up. During the bride's "thank you" speech, i was over at the tables, righting the 6 or so that had completely toppled over, spilling water all over the hand-sewn (by her mom!) table runners. Luckily the sun was out, so they managed to get mostly dry. Some of the flowers were a little crushed, and after re-filling the jars with water, all we could do was place them on the ground, up against the table legs for stability. i figured we could just put them back up after there were people sitting at the tables, acting as windbreaks. This was not a fun time for me. Nat helped me out immensely.
Item: Went to pin on the groom's boutonniere. Realized i had no idea how to do it. Fabulous! Jury-rigged it as best i could, only to have it fall partially off during one of the toasts. There was a brief pause in the reception so that the bride could fix it. Mortification.
On the plus side, everyone seemed to love the flowers, and 100% of people who found out that i did them were completely astonished... i took this as a compliment, because what else can one do?
Not sure i would ever do it again, and most assuredly would never do it again without a helper. i'm not sure people quite realize the amount of work it takes to get flowers cleaned and arranged, much less picked and bunched (which i personally have never done). At the market i made sure to give the farm workers big smiles and respect. We obviously couldn't do any of it without them. i also have yet to meet any actual growers, but i hope to someday. It would be nice to see the whole line: from the pure numbers (supply & demand type issues, i.e. what to grow and when) and need (acreage, fertilizer, watering, etc.), tending and picking, sorting and bunching, to selecting and prepping, then care and selling. What a whirlwind those stems go through. And the amount of green detritus left in the wake is certainly mountainous. You should have seen my living room!
Sad that i A) didn't take a single picture and B) didn't have more time to make everything perfect. But it was nice to help out a friend and to get a little (a lot?) more experience under my belt. It's helpful when you are wondering if you could do it for a living... although the jury is still out on that one. You'd have to ask Nat, who saw me at possibly my absolute worst. i thought i was going to black out from the stress! But it sort of plateaued, and then i just rode the high. Interesting feeling. Plus the accolades were not as awful as i'd feared. Scrutiny is my number one fear, as we all know.
Some pictures of the wedding here and here. My only advice to anyone else doing this? TAKE PICTURES. Even though i keep telling myself that i "literally didn't have a second free", just borrow yourself some time. It is worth it. i regret nothing more than that. Honest advice that we all know anyway.
And now, no more about flowers. i'm boring you, i'm boring me, it is done to death. Work at 8:00 am tomorrow, ugh. Too soon. i don't want to see another gerbera daisy for the rest of my life...
The Leftovers (thought there'd be more! whew.).
Item: i was still taping the groom's boutonniere (in my sweatpants) when the car arrived to pick up the flower arrangements, roughly 20 minutes before the wedding was scheduled to begin. This may have been the worst part, because i was fussing over everything too much, with time against me, and my fingers were literally cramping and had to be manually moved into their natural positions more than a couple of times.
Item: at the last minute on Friday, i had a friend pick up some dahlias and freesia for me, both of which i ended up having to toss because they were total garbage.
Item: the "Circus" roses that i purchased on Tuesday were almost completely dead by Friday night. This was just poor judgment on my part. i should have known that they were no good when i picked them out. Nevertheless, it added to the panic. i had to use them anyway, which made me sad. This wedding party deserved better.
Item: After setting up the arrangements on the tables outside, the wind began to pick up. During the bride's "thank you" speech, i was over at the tables, righting the 6 or so that had completely toppled over, spilling water all over the hand-sewn (by her mom!) table runners. Luckily the sun was out, so they managed to get mostly dry. Some of the flowers were a little crushed, and after re-filling the jars with water, all we could do was place them on the ground, up against the table legs for stability. i figured we could just put them back up after there were people sitting at the tables, acting as windbreaks. This was not a fun time for me. Nat helped me out immensely.
Item: Went to pin on the groom's boutonniere. Realized i had no idea how to do it. Fabulous! Jury-rigged it as best i could, only to have it fall partially off during one of the toasts. There was a brief pause in the reception so that the bride could fix it. Mortification.
On the plus side, everyone seemed to love the flowers, and 100% of people who found out that i did them were completely astonished... i took this as a compliment, because what else can one do?
Not sure i would ever do it again, and most assuredly would never do it again without a helper. i'm not sure people quite realize the amount of work it takes to get flowers cleaned and arranged, much less picked and bunched (which i personally have never done). At the market i made sure to give the farm workers big smiles and respect. We obviously couldn't do any of it without them. i also have yet to meet any actual growers, but i hope to someday. It would be nice to see the whole line: from the pure numbers (supply & demand type issues, i.e. what to grow and when) and need (acreage, fertilizer, watering, etc.), tending and picking, sorting and bunching, to selecting and prepping, then care and selling. What a whirlwind those stems go through. And the amount of green detritus left in the wake is certainly mountainous. You should have seen my living room!
Sad that i A) didn't take a single picture and B) didn't have more time to make everything perfect. But it was nice to help out a friend and to get a little (a lot?) more experience under my belt. It's helpful when you are wondering if you could do it for a living... although the jury is still out on that one. You'd have to ask Nat, who saw me at possibly my absolute worst. i thought i was going to black out from the stress! But it sort of plateaued, and then i just rode the high. Interesting feeling. Plus the accolades were not as awful as i'd feared. Scrutiny is my number one fear, as we all know.
Some pictures of the wedding here and here. My only advice to anyone else doing this? TAKE PICTURES. Even though i keep telling myself that i "literally didn't have a second free", just borrow yourself some time. It is worth it. i regret nothing more than that. Honest advice that we all know anyway.
And now, no more about flowers. i'm boring you, i'm boring me, it is done to death. Work at 8:00 am tomorrow, ugh. Too soon. i don't want to see another gerbera daisy for the rest of my life...
The Leftovers (thought there'd be more! whew.).
Friday, June 12
breathe. breathe.
So i'm doing the flowers for a friend's wedding.
Self-destruction imminent.
Why do yellow freesia exist, but just not today?
Can i wire a brassidium orchid bloom from my own plant for a corsage? Will it hold up?
And why the hell do flowers need so much damned attention? Do people realize how much work it takes to make them sit there and look pretty?
Does any of it really matter, anyway?
...probably not.
I will report back once the storm has cleared. Right now my balcony looks really, really pretty, though :)
(no wonder every flower shop owner that i have ever met is basically bat-shit insane. (no offense, guys and gals))
xo,
h
Self-destruction imminent.
Why do yellow freesia exist, but just not today?
Can i wire a brassidium orchid bloom from my own plant for a corsage? Will it hold up?
And why the hell do flowers need so much damned attention? Do people realize how much work it takes to make them sit there and look pretty?
Does any of it really matter, anyway?
...probably not.
I will report back once the storm has cleared. Right now my balcony looks really, really pretty, though :)
(no wonder every flower shop owner that i have ever met is basically bat-shit insane. (no offense, guys and gals))
xo,
h
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