time to return.

For some reason i feel like laying out on top of a large, warm rock slab today and just basking in the sun. (For those that know me: i understand that this seems like a strange inclination.)
Saw a shaft of light hitting a bit of rock somewhere today, and instantly my inner self became a lizard; wishing for rough skin against rough stone, seeping in and soaking up the warmth, the stillness.

i'm sick of the shoes that keep our feet from the earth. i'm sick of the gloves and manners that keep our hands and fingers from trees, from food. i'm sick of the sunglasses that shade our eyes from the light. i'm sick of living in a cave. i'm sick of feeling hermetically sealed. i want my skin to touch bark, to dip into streams, to caress a stone: aching to grab a tree dusty trunk, retrieve a cold, slick river rock from the glassy current, run my fingers through the dry grasses, and lay supine on one of the rocks bursting out everywhere from beneath the crust of this great orb.

i'm tired of chairs, tired of wires, tired of vertical blinds and mirrors. Weary of telephones, plastic bags, remote controls, and all-in-one printer/copier/scanners. Sick of batteries, vacuums, and junk mail flyers for cable tv.

Wishing i could devolve, or reincarnate; a return to something more primitive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news: there's finally a new Joanna Newsom album! Determined to find the CD, i only allowed myself to listen to the first two tracks, but they sounded wonderful. Very Kate Bushian; fuckin' solid, as the kids are saying these days.

Wondering when the hell i'm figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Studying etymology? Fighting against honor killings? Decorating cakes? For fuck's sake, what gives with the decision-making section of my brain? Permanently stagnated?

Here's a somewhat fitting song for y'alls. Can't get it out of my head today.



...Well, i'm off to darn some socks and eat sugar snap peas. Remember: i waste time better than you. Deal with it.

workin' woman's woes.

Just FYI: Walking up to me at work and saying "Yeah, i need some flowers." after i ask if i can help you is NOT amusing. Nor is it clever, original, or helpful in any way. Seriously. And when i ask for the TINIEST bit of input, please don't interrupt me and say, "i dunno, that's your job. You're the expert."

Seriously. Seriously?

I'm the expert at what your girlfriend/mother/best friend likes? Wow, i had no idea. How thrilling.

Uh-uh. No. This is not how it's going down.
It can then take quite awhile to extract any minute fragment of information, such as:

a) the occasion
b) if there is any flower or color the recipient particularly adores/abhors
c) should we go tall or short?
d) should this be a one-sided arrangement (i.e., the vase is against a wall)?

i could go on, but basically: just help me out a little here. Yes, i know that it is my job to make you an arrangement, but every little bit helps. It would be like me walking into a grocery store and saying to the first employee i see, "yeah, can you just, like..... pick me out some stuff? i wanna have dinner with my boyfriend tonight, so i need some food. I'm sorry, what's that? What do we like? Oh, i don't know- you're the one who works here; isn't food like, your area of expertise?"

Yeah. See how ridiculous that is? i cannot tell you how many times a person will say, "Just make me something; whatever you want" and then 5 or ten minutes later they are coming over and hemming and hawing about something i have put in (or left out). i'm not a mind reader here, folks. Just throw me a bone.

And for the record? Putting an iris next to a stargazer with a piece of solid aster thrown in "to brighten it up" is like pairing SpaghettiOs with sliced banana, served with a glass of (sour) grapefruit juice. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK. Trust me. Trust me on this.

We're done, you may go. Think about what i've said.